..Alcohol..

I believe that any one that drinks at all has been there at one time or another.... Usually resulting from being hurt by the opposite sex, we come up with and go out and make the grand gesture of deciding that we are going to wash that man or woman out of our mind and heart. I’ve been there, have you? I remember one particular night when I went out with a bunch of friends with the intention to chase my sorrows away. After a few drinks, I started crying my eyes and heart out over a man, who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with; that we have our issues which i think it cannot be resolved over time. I was devastated and completely confused. Needless to say my friends ended up having to walk me out and flopping me into the front seat. I was utterly unable to drive home.

My heart was unable to accept the breakup, what my head was true and i tried to drown my misery and pain away. Not very attractive to see a gal got sloshed in a pub, right? What was once a cheerful, happy-go-lucky, optimistic and independent gal...Someone who knows what she wants in life has turned into a less than a shadow of herself and in a self destruct mode! Between the events that were taking place making my numb and ease the sorrows away, my brain didn’t have the chance to think properly. By drowning your problems, pain, misery & sorrows will not make it go away. You might forget ridiculous things that happened, until you best buddy unfortunately will give you a nudge or remind you the very next day to face reality. Every time you drink it enhances the memories and by drinking you’re only compounding your problems that already existed. You can’t think clearly to allow the problem to be solved.

Alcohol, YES.. it makes you feel good and it is effective to make you feel better for a few hours. If you’re depressed or lacking or energy/enthusiasm/drive, it can be tempting to use alcohol to help you keep going and cope with life. The problem and which is my worry to EVERYONE (esp my close friends and buddies) is that you can easily slip into drinking regularly, using it like a medication. The benefits will soon wear off and drinking becomes a part of your routine. Then you start to notice that:
• You do not feel right without a drink, or need a drink to start the day
• You can drink a lot without getting drunk
• You have the tendency to drink more to get the same effect
• You try to stop but you can’t resist
• You carry on drinking even though it is interfering your work, family & friends

Alcohol is a depressant that affects the chemistry of the brain, increasing the risk of depression. I have came to my senses and would like to thank my friends.. you know who you are for being there when I needed most. Thank you!!! So, to make a long story short, if you are thinking of drinking to drive the blues away…think again!!! If you care and worried for someone that matters to you about their drinking habits, PLEASE tell them – they need to make changes as soon as possible. It is much easier to cut back before drinking problems damage your health than it is once they are out of hand.

Shaken by Accident

First off, thanks to everyone who called and showed their support and concern.

On the 25th of March 2009, about 10 o’clock I was driving and the car in front of me was driving slowly. I signaled left to overtake the car and the fella decided to follow suit. The driver didn’t anticipate a sharp turning ahead of him and he jam braked! My heart was pounding hard deciding what to do. Without thinking much i floored the brake in hopes of getting out the car direct path. I was unable to determine in adequate time that it was not simply slowing down, but performing an EMERGENCY STOP. I lost control of my car!

All this happened in a few seconds... When the car was spinning, I saw a white figure sitting next me.. I was speechless (I thought I’m gonna die) and before I knew what had happened, everything went upside down. I felt the vibration... The car managed to turn back, landed and swerved to the right. The front tire spun and my car veered off the road and slid hard at the side pavement. The car in front of me managed to avoid the collision and sped off.

My heart was beating hard, I was breathing fast and I can't believe I just got into an accident. Look around. Am I alive?

Both sides’ windows had shattered. Bystanders across the street rushed over to help me out. When I came to my senses, I started crying...Gasping for air. I couldn’t find my phone and a kind Indian man offered to call my friend to inform him about the accident. I was shaken and terrified. Will came to rescue and took me the clinic while Ju & Stephen helped me sort things out. Thank you very much!!

After everything was sorted out I went home sobbing and crying. Felt so relieved to see my family. At the point in time, I realised how important life is! The very next day I went for a medical check up and I am perfectly fine. I got off with just scratches and bruises. What are the chances? God has given me a second chance to live happily again.

I am sharing this not merely to rant or ramble BUT to remind you ppl out there to drive carefully. Treasure your loved ones! I think anybody can make the transition. You don't have to have a serious accident, have a friend die or lose their job. You just have to get serious about what life truly means.

Pictures of my car :(






Would like to share a few quotes, so here it goes:-

“Life is too short not to make the best and the most of everything that comes your way everyday.

“Forgive, forget. Bear with the faults of others as you would have them bear with yours. Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.”

“Family means too much, Friends are too valuable, And life is too short, To put-off sharing with people, How much they really mean to you, And pursuing whatever it is that makes you happy."

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family.”

Aights, Hope you'll have a good and productive day ahead!

Live for Today

Often, we devote our life planning ahead missing out on what the day has to offer. Concentrate on now and take delight of what it is. Be in the moment. Feel everything all around you and appreciate everything that you have. It may be your health, it may be your peace of mind, it may be your loved one who is with you or away but is thinking about you. Live in the moment and forget about tomorrow.

Grief. Fear. Abandonment.Desperation.

My mind has been full and swimming with thoughts that i cannot suppress.

How to overcome what seems to be insurmountable if the reason and the consciousness do not want to forget? How to stop the feeling, the suffering, the weeping? Since, it would seem that inevitably we are losing the mind. It is not possible to tolerate so much pain.

Everything turns to desperation, agony: A cry of the soul, who is distressed and cries, experiences fear, desperation, abandonment, misery and pain, time and time again, in an uncontrollable way. What to do then when facing what is irremediable?

Perhaps the most pronounced of all of those feelings.. The Grief I can’t explain.. Grief that drives me between tears and anger. Grief that blinds me and makes me angry at God.. To grief is to begin to accept a significant loss. To work through the intense pain of loss.

I have found myself grieving several times this week. And now I find myself again grieving this.. It’s an aching grief this time. Like a cold that you can’t shake.. No matter how many blankets you pile on..

I can’t seem to let go of it. I want to be free from this depression and from this horrible, tormenting mind. I have no enthusiasm for life and no energy to give to others. I know all of this, yet, what should I do? I don’t know how to “just have faith” or to “believe in myself” anymore. I used to. Now I just feel bitter and angry, but nobody wants to hear about that. I really want to change and I don’t know how.

I am tired, and going to bed. But I wanted to “spill” a little.. Thanks for reading

Welcome To Mabz

First and foremost, welcome. This is just another place where I can blurt and rant endlessly without the fear that my fellow ear lending friends bleed to death. But I'm not saying that you're not subjected to other type of injuries. Very well then, that pretty much sum up the reason why I'm starting this blog, to rant, ramble, complain, comment and most of all, to share. Stay tune for more and enjoy... :)